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| Marie Umbach and Leslie Hyder |
Four Generations of Bigs and Littles
by Marie Umbach
Dawn Haushalter, my Little Sister, contributed to this story
I don’t remember how old I was when I became involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters, but I do know that it has been one of the biggest influences in my life, as well as in the lives of three other ladies who will always be very important to me. When I became a Little Sister for the first time, I had no idea that it would start a chain reaction that would continue to shape my life and my “sister’s” lives for generations to come.
My parents were separated before I was born and I never met my father. Because she felt that my brother needed a male role model in his life, my mother went to BBBS to get my brother a Big Brother. When she was there, she found out that I could get a Big Sister too. I was matched as a Little Sister with several Big Sisters over the years, but the one I continue to keep in touch with is Leslie. We were matched when I was nine years old and she quickly became my best friend and role model. I still remember the day we met. As we walked around my childhood neighborhood on a summer afternoon, we started to get to know little details about each other, such as the fact that we both had the same favorite ice cream. I instantly knew I was going to love having Leslie as a Big Sister and that we would be friends for life.
Leslie has encouraged me to set goals and strive for them. She was always there to listen when I needed a shoulder to cry on and was always there to celebrate any accomplishment of mine, no matter how small. It was Leslie who inspired me to become a Big Sister and I knew that she would be there with any advice or encouragement I needed in the process. Leslie is now married and has four beautiful children. Even as a busy mother of four, she still finds time for me, her “Little” Sister. She continues to be a role model and inspiration to me, and her example will always be the perfect one to follow as I strive to be the best mentor for my own Little Sisters.
As soon as I turned eighteen, I called BBBS to find out how to become a Big Sister. Once the application process was completed, I couldn’t wait to be matched. How exciting that this time I was going to be the Big Sister and not the Little Sister! I was matched with my first Little Sister, Dawn, in August of 1989. Just as I was when I first met Leslie, Dawn was nine years old when we first met at her house. I can remember taking a walk with Dawn around her childhood neighborhood and starting to get to know her, just like I did with Leslie. She was so excited that she was going to be a “double digit” when she turned ten the next month. She was the youngest of three, having two older brothers. There was John, who was terminally ill with brain cancer and paralyzed on his left side at age fourteen, and Charlie, who was twelve and already matched with his Big Brother, Barry. Similar to my own family’s experience, Charlie was the primary reason their mother approached BBBS for lack of a consistent male role model in Charlie’s life. BBBS then offered Dawn a Big Sister because of the amount of time and attention required of her mother by John’s illness. The fact that her brother, Charlie, was already matched made things very easy for me because Dawn was ecstatic about getting a Big Sister and wasn’t afraid at all. She was a little shy at first but we quickly became very close and our relationship has grown into a beautiful friendship that will never perish.
Dawn eventually lost her older brother John when he was sixteen years old. It was a challenge to help her overcome this as well as several other obstacles Dawn encountered in her life, but I was equally filled with pride as I watched Dawn succeed at everything she did, despite these obstacles. Dawn moved to Florida when she was thirteen years old. It broke my heart to say good bye and I promised myself that I would not lose touch with her. Instead of our weekly outings, we planned weekly phone calls. Anytime Dawn came to NY to visit with her relatives for a holiday or summer break, we always made a point of getting together and catching up. If she was here for two months during the summer, we got together on a weekly basis, as we had before she left. I flew down to Florida when she was fifteen to go to Disneyworld with her and again when she was seventeen to attend her high school graduation ceremony. She graduated at the top of her class and was awarded several scholarships.
I started the application process again in July of 2003, but this time it was with the Holbrook office of BBBS. I used both Leslie and Dawn as my personal references and was accepted into the program once again. I was so excited when I received the phone call from Randi, the caseworker at BBBS, to tell me that they had a match. Randi explained Meghan’s situation and we set up a day and time to meet. I was so excited that I was being matched again and immediately called Leslie and Dawn to share the news. They were both excited for me. It was as if we were all being matched again. We reminisced about when we were matched and the things we used to do together on our outings. Dawn and Leslie continue to be a very big part of my life and are always asking about my new match.
Without Big Brothers Big Sisters, these three nine-year-olds, including myself, would be without the consistent source of encouragement, support, and everlasting friendship that a Big Sister provides. BBBS has had an incredible impact on four generations through my experiences. I only hope that the experience continues for many generations to come.
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